Shiva and Sex- 5 Secrets to Rock Your World of Intimacy!
One hears a lot about how Lord Shiva is a yogi and lives his live as an ascetic, forsaking the comforts of home and hearth. Those that do talk about the connection between Lord Shiva and domesticity, speak only of his connection to his sons Lord Ganesha and Lord Kartikeya and a somewhat frolicsome relationship with Goddess Parvati. Very few people actually pay close attention to Lord Shiva’s sex life. Anybody who knows anything about this God would know that Shiva does nothing partially. In meditation, he is known as the Yogeshwar (the Lord of meditation), in his role as a performer Shiva is Nataraja (Lord of Dance), in his absolute control over the elements that constitute life, he is Bhooteshwar (Lord of the Five Elements). These are merely examples of the thousand odd names he is given which define him as being the best at everything. So why do we shy away from his prowess in bed?
The answer is simple, according to puritanical ethics, philosophers have always tried to think of meditation and spiritual aspirations as being fundamentally different from the demands of the flesh. Lord Shiva is the one God in the entire Hindu pantheon who does not shy away from the idea of sex. In his simplicity, Lord Shiva is the closest to the common man. He has no pretensions of gentrification or any form of artifice to bind and obfuscate anything that comes naturally. As such there are things to learn from his example even when it comes to sex.
Sex by itself is not impure, evil or dirty. It is a beautiful form of self expression that opens the door to transcendence through one’s body. It is the context in which it is seen that makes it a subject of moral bias. Cut off from all socially sanctioned definitions, sex emerges as just another activity that is essential for the procreation of life and for the development of a strong bond of intimacy between lovers. We live in a day and age where it has become very important for us to dispel the myths that surround sex and try to see it for the true physical and spiritual significance it has.
Legend has it that Shiva and Parvati were as physical in their relationship as they were intellectually inclined to one another. They would disappear for years and spend time with one another exclusively. At least in one of the puranic description about Shiva we learn that on a certain occasion Shiva and Parvati were so engrossed in having sex with each other that they remained hidden from everybody for over 1000 years and at the height of their sexual prowess, their passion shook the mountains to the utter embarrassment of other Gods and Deities.
So what is the secret behind such awesome sexual prowess? How did they manage to get it on so powerfully and with grace?
Read on to know the Five things one MUST know:
Shiva and Sex – 5 Secrets to Rock Your World of Intimacy!
- Listen to your Partner: One of the most significant thing we ignore and Shiva never did was to listen to his partner (Parvati).Given the taboo surrounding sex, a lot of women do not talk very openly about what they seek and need sexually from their partner. It is held in popular imagination that women who talk about their sexual desires are sexually immoral and do not fit the definition of a ‘good woman’. It is important to realize that in the privacy of one’s home and on one’s own marital bed, a woman should have the liberty to let her body speak. As her partner, the man must be able to read her body language even if she does not literally speak. Providing the scope for such exchange of information allows for the build up of mutual trust and understanding. It fights off all reservation. Once reservation is lost, natural instincts kick in and everything goes smoothly.
- Talk to your Partner: Owing to various reservations about social roles men and women must play differently, women often imagine that men know what to do. They are expected to know how to be good in bed. The matter of fact is, when it comes to sex, the only way to get better at it is with experience. There is no single rule or code that all men know or which applies to all men. Each human being is an individual equipped with a unique sensibility which includes desire. Allowing social pressures and preconceived expectations to prevent the articulation of the desire is the best way to develop inadequacies and non-fulfilling experiences which in turn end up increasing one’s frustration with a relationship. Like in the point above, if verbal communication is found inadequate, one must allow one’s body to do the talking. As it begins to do that, out comes a path to a perfectly customized, sustainable method of practicing intimacy.
- Ignore all Third Parties: Lord Shiva and Goddess Parvati made it a point to not concern themselves with anybody about their opinions of togetherness and intimacy. Within the four walls of one’s bedroom, what one does with one’s partner is something that only the parties involved should have a say over and nobody else. Ignoring third parties include rejecting all kinds of tips and lessons other people provide trying to prescribe a certain position of a kind of rhythm or technique. The reason for this follows from points 1 and 2 above. Nobody can know more about our body and how it feels more than we do. People can only try to iterate certain statistically valid statements but there really is no secret formula that applies to everyone. Sex is an extremely personal act. An act that connects the bodies and souls of different people ending in an euphoric sense of togetherness. Absolutely nobody can have any access to another’s life that interferes with this vital form of connection.
- Stay Fit in Mind and Body: Sexual intercourse is widely acknowledged as one of the most strenuous exercise even by modern scientific studies. The physical exertion and the hormonal release that conclude a sexual encounter is said to tax the body and mind a lot. It is not by chance that people have historically associated orgasms as an out-of-body, death like experience. Vital energy is spent in the act of bringing this activity to fruition. As such it is absolutely essential to have a healthy body and an alert mind. Yoga helps in the building of the physical tenacity and meditation strengthens the mind. Lord Shiva is a master of both, as is Goddess Parvati. The Taandav dance Shiva performs and the Lasya that Parvati engenders have the effect of counter balancing each other’s energies. Both of them are extremely fit and alert people, fully in tune with their bodies and minds. It is an old adage that a healthy mind can only live in a healthy body. To extend the metaphor, one has to realize that both are needed to be vitally charged so that we may live our life to the fullest extent, enjoying the delicate craftsmanship of Nature that has built our bodies to the perfect equipoise.
- Learn Daily and Inculcate: It is a human trait to get complacent. Once we make ourselves believe we are good at something we start taking things for granted and begin slacking. Intimacy and togetherness is no different from one’s ability to build ones skills of body and mind. A sword, no matter how well made, if left in disuse is bound to rust. The same holds true for a creative or intellectual genius. If s/he gets lazy and does not continue to find newer ways to learn and upgrade oneself, their brilliance fades into mediocrity, which in turn gives way to degeneration and decay. Lord Shiva and Goddess Parvati are immortal, eternal beings still they have always found ways to improve their skills on the battle field and in tender matters of the heart. Both are fierce, unparalleled warriors and as lovers too, they have no equal. As such, one must learn from their example that it is very very important to always be open to learning new things as one goes along the curves of life, adding them all to one’s repertoire.