Lesson 4: Shiva’s 4th Truth – Sayyam
One of the most important Lessons of Shiva is Sayyam, or Balance. It is important to maintain a balance in everything you do. There should not be too much focus on work or play, perfection or disinterest, the past or the future. It is the balance of these and all qualities, feelings and activities that will help you in your journey towards Purnatva.
A great teacher and a great student
When Parvati met Shiva, he had spent thousands of years in deep meditation and Yoga atop Mount Kailasha, removing himself from the world completely. But Parvati wanted to bring Shiva closer to the world because she understood that those years had given Shiva a phenomenal perspective and understanding of reality.
A perspective which could help the world.
So Parvati became a devoted student of Shiva. She would ask him questions about the cosmos. Sitting on Kailasha, Shiva answered every question she had, explaining the secrets of the cosmos to her in the process. With every answer, great truths were revealed – not just to Parvati, but to the world. These were the truths Shiva had discovered during his thousands of years of meditation. And as he answered Parvati, Shiva started coming closer to worldly matters.
After some time, he made an announcement to the world, revealing this Truth:
“He who escapes from joy and sorrow instead of living and dealing with them, is a fool and he shall forever fail to see the truth. And he who is only a part of pleasures and pains of life, is also a fool, he shall also never discover the truth. The truth lies in balance, in harmony, between body, mind and soul. It is the balance between individual and society.”
While revealing the Truth of balance (Sayyam) to the world, Shiva makes an important point we must all learn from:
Your power is not in removing yourself from the joys and sorrows of the world. Nor is it in extreme meditation or renunciation, nor in the complete immersion of physical life, at the expense of the soul. Your power is found in the balance of all things. This is where you find the truth of YOU.
This means that we must always enjoy the pleasures and the sorrows of life, while balancing them with meditation and discovery of the self.
While Shiva is the one to whom all other gods turn when the world is in trouble, he is also the one they are afraid of when he is making love to his wife!
As a passionate lover and an ever-present ally, Shiva is a multi-faceted god. As an ascetic he renounces all worldly pleasures and lives on the peak of Mount Kailash (his abode) meditating with great intensity. But while he is with his wife, he is a lover, a great friend and a compassionate listener. He manages these seemingly contradictory qualities through balance.
But more important than a balance to opposite behaviors is a balance of emotions. Love is very POWERFUL. When love is combined with passion, it can fill you with joy. Sadly, it can also drive you to utter despair or even destruction. Thus it must be channeled properly in order to lead you to balance and success.
Passion, Love and Family
We live in a society where we are bound by various relationships – son or daughter, mother or father, husband or wife, boss or employee and, one of the most important to me: friendship. While we are dependent on these relationships, we are also greatly susceptible to their influences.
Many influential people in the world today like the Obamas and Bill and Melinda Gates have attributed their success to the love and support of their families. But love MUST be handled with care. If not, it can disrupt the very path your life is on, leading you to a loss of internal balance.
Every relationship is like a roller coaster ride: it has its ups and downs. And this is exactly why Shiva’s 4th Truth, Sayyam, is so very essential to you.
Does Screaming and Shouting Help?
I am certain you have faced a situation where your partner is in a bad mood and this bad mood has affected the way you feel. Soon, the bad mood seizes you, and you become surly and annoyed as well. You may even want to scream and shout. But if you do, will it make your relationship better? Will it help ease the bad mood of your partner?
Of course not!
We all know that screaming, shouting and other negative expressions will only worsen the situation. So it is in these times that we must realizea bad mood is just a passing phase. And instead of feeding into negative emotion, we must support our partner. We must leave aside our ego, channel our inner balance or Sayyam and help drive away the bad mood.
Whether it is by cheering them up with a story, making them laugh with a joke, going out for a relaxing drive, giving them the space to brood, or even just letting our partner rant until they are exhausted; by choosing to balance their bad mood with your own inner Sayyam, you reduce the chances of things becoming far worse.
The foundation of any relationship is based on give-and-take. And give-and-take is a quality of balance, is it not? If you were in a bad mood, how would you like it if your partner or friend yelled at you? All it would do is put you in a worse mood! Think of yourself in the same situation, how would you like your partner to react?
I am sure your answer is with love and support! And when it comes to them, you must also show the same love and support. But how does one control oneself to not react in a negative manner?
The Key is Sayyam
While we cannot control others and their mood swings, we certainly can maintain our own internal balance. This allows us to remain free from the negativity and stress of others.
Shiva is a God who maintains an equal relationship with all his wives. But how does he achieve this with such willful wives? While he does not let himself be cowed by their powerful personalities (after all Sati and Parvati are strong goddesses), Shiva is very understanding of their wishes.
Shiva has Sayyam
He is balanced. He does not let the tantrums of his wives affect him. He lets them do as they please, but also gives them the support they need.
Balancing Life, Dreams and Work
Dr. Wayne Dyer is a contemporary self-help teacher who is beloved by many. He has authored 30 books and created many audio training tapes. Dr. Dyer has inspired millions of people to live more balanced and joyful lives. He argues that one area of your life which is essential to attend to is the balance between your everyday habits and your dreams.
“One of the huge imbalances in life,” he explains, “is the disparity between your daily existence, with its routines and habits, and the dream you have deep within yourself of some extraordinarily satisfying way of living.” Dr. Dyer says that the absence of this balance may not be apparent in a direct way, but rather like a “an unwelcome companion by your side, which continually whispers to you that you’re ignoring something.” ( http://www.drwaynedyer.com/articles/beingbalance-excerpt). This experience is unnerving at best, and slowly destructive at worst.
Work and personal life is another area where many of us can become unbalanced. In fact, the problem has become so troublesome that, according to research conducted by the Corporate Executive Board, a member-based advisory company, more than 50,000 workers worldwide rank the need for work-life balance as second only to financial compensation for most important employment attributes. Their study also revealed that employees who feel they have a good work-life balance, “tend to work 21% harder than those who don’t.” (http://www.businessweek.com/managing/content/mar2009/ca20090327_734197.htm)
Cultivate Emotional Balance for Better Relationship Harmony
Have you found yourself exhausted at times from excess relationship drama? Perhaps you’ve face difficulty balancing contrasting aspects of your life, your interests or your personality. Maybe you’ve lost friends or even partners because the heat of your passion is so intense that it burns your loved ones when you are angry.
If any of these problems have caused you pain, then there is a very good chance you are not balanced in your emotions or your life. This is a problem that requires your attention. I strongly urge you to attend to emotional balance in your life, because in the end, nothing is as important as your relationships with your family, partner and friends. When you destroy these through over-heated emotions, you destroy a part of your self.
In the full, Shiva Experience program, you gain more understanding of how to bring Sayyam into your life. This will help you enjoy more balance and be free of intense, destructive emotional outbursts.
Here are a few other benefits of working with the full program:
● When you channel Sayyam into your career… you will gain balance between you work and personal life. This will allow you to have much more energy and positive focus in both areas!
● When you channel Sayyam into your relationships… you will enjoy a deeper connection with each and every persona in your life,because you will have an understanding of the right balance between attention to others’ needs and your own self-care.
● When you channel Sayyam into your health… you will intuitively build a more balanced diet and lifestyle.
● When you channel Sayyam into your finances… you will easily curb unnecessary spending or even excess habits of saving that limit your life’s joy.
● In addition to deepening your Sayyam, in the full program you will enjoy detailed lessons for mastering the rest of Shiva’s steps to Purnatva.
If you are ready to create balance in your personal life, your emotions or your work life, then the full Shiva Experience Program will aid you every step of the way. Simply GO HERE to find out more or start today.
In tomorrow’s Lesson, you will discover Shiva’s 5th Secret, and how mastering it will
>> Allow you to rest in the sanctuary of your own inner peace.
>> Maintain your sense of harmony even when those around you are reactive and full of stress.
>> Find the reserve and composure you need when things go wrong.
>> Hold your serenity in the midst of chaos.
So be sure to look for and open tomorrow’s email from me, entitled: “Sambhava – Shiva’s 5th Truth”
Om Namah Shivaya
Dr. Nilima Chitgopekar
GO HERE to learn more about the full Shiva Experience Program.